'As the tune started, the dance floor slowly became alive. Women dressed in beautiful dresses of all colors could be seen dancing with men who wore tunics of elaborate design. It was a magnificent sight to behold and when I laid my eyes on it, I wept.'

-Anonymous-

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Weekly Times

Hmm... no updates lately... Time sure passes fast... No?

@#*$()*!@@!#

@#($I@(#%U(!@_(#)!_$*@!_#*!_@#!%(8789&*&!@#!$(!*#)

Exam's stress u know...
Somehow after writing this i dun feel much better... xD

Here's a piece that my lecturer asked if I would like to publish. Enjoy =)

Chasing Dreams

The plane touches down. As I stood up from my seat, a tear fell off my cheeks. I was in Australia. The first time I was away from home, the first time I will not be going back home after a long day, the first time I was truly alone. As I lingered around the baggage pick up point, I pondered to myself, “Was it a good idea after all to come all the way here to study?” At that moment when I made my decision, it seemed like a good one, but right now as I am standing here on Australian soil I was beginning to regret it deeply.

Not even a day had passed and I was already homesick. I had left everything behind without a second thought and I was paying for it right then. The pain I felt in my heart when I walked out the airport and into a taxi was so overwhelming I had to constantly remind myself that what I was going through is normal and I’ll feel much better at the end of the day.

It didn’t turn out that way.

I woke up in the middle of the night, half awake and started to think about everyone back home. That was when I felt the world had just come apart. Images of fond memories kept running through my mind like a roll of film on a large screen projector. For every image I saw, I would feel a stab in my heart and there was no way of stopping it. Soon a free flow of tears started running down my face and I cursed myself for being so selfish and impatient.

If only I had waited a few more years before setting out on my own.

Morning arrived. Unknowingly, I had cried myself to sleep.

After a quick shower and breakfast, I made my way to the RMIT building located on La Trobe and Swanston for my late enrolment. While walking, I slowly took in my surroundings and tried to understand the lifestyle here. The weather, the streets, the cars, the people, they’re just so different from what I’m used to. I pondered, and my heart swelled. Again, the thought of home came up. Again, I unwillingly allowed myself to dwell on the past. This time, words of encouragement and advice from loved ones and peers drew my attention. Those words then seem to hold so much meaning. Right now, I see them nothing more than mere words, a melody passing through my ears.

My actions had no life. My speech was robotic. I spoke only when I was spoken to and act if I had to. That was how I signed myself up for the late enrolment. Staff who tried to be friendly with me only served to annoy me. I hated myself for chasing my dream.

Classes started the following week. Everyday it would be the same routine. The alarm rings, I wake up and a cold shower later, I’m off on any tram with a piece of bread in my mouth that’s on its way to Melbourne University getting off on Swanston and La trobe. In class, time seems to be running a little slower. By the end of the day, I felt as if I had lived through a year.

Days soon turned to weeks. I had moved out of the hotel into a friends place on Southbank. I still have yet to find a place for myself. Every application sent in by me for an apartment had been rejected or “misplaced” by the rental agency. I was at a lost. I hated myself even more then for chasing my dream.

My friends here could do little to offer me comfort. The advice they gave are those that I have already heard and yet chose to ignore. At that moment, the problem wasn’t with anything else but me. I had refused to embrace the lifestyle here, refused to acknowledge that I was in a foreign land, and for that I tormented myself.

In the end, my father was the one who brought me back up. While talking to him on the phone, I confided the issues that were bothering me to him and his reply was something I never imagined him to say. (My father is a very quiet person who don’t really show concern for anything)

“That is part of life. You have to learn and adapt. Embracing the things that come your way will only make it easier for you. Instead of rejecting everything why don’t you try accepting them? You have to be strong and carry on doing what you have set your mind on. Giving up will only hurt you further. These are the things that you’ll have to face all your life. Just be strong and patient.”

Those were the exact words he said. Truth be told, it’s something I already am very well aware of, but to hear it from him just gives the words a different meaning altogether. As I look back, it was just as my father said. I had rejected everything and refused to move on. Thinking back, it was because I had not prepared myself mentally for the difficulties ahead. I thought it was a simple thing to go abroad and study. It was my mistake.

By heeding those words, I was able to pull myself together and be who I was before I came to this place. Missing home wasn’t really a matter to me anymore. I came to an understanding where home is not a physical thing; instead it is where your heart wishes it to be. In my case, it’s where I am right now.

It’s a big sacrifice, but one that’s necessary in order to chase our dreams.


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Its a raw piece btw, will edit it if i do decide on my lectures question.

So Ri, happy with my update? xD of courz this was written quite sometime ago.. like the 3rd week i was here? right now things are quite different la...


And By.... good luck with ur exams k =)

Sunday Morning

So near yet so far.

That's how I feel right now.

I can't help it.

Right now just isn't the time.

Fuck me.

Instructions: Remove one question from below, add in one of your own(personal), to make a total of 20.

Tag 10 people in your list in the end of this post. Notify them.

1. At what age do you wish to be married?
uh... 30

2. What is something you have to do in this life time?

Find out about my past life?

3. If you were asked to give up 2 things important to you for your lifelong dream, what would they be? (My question)

1. Nothing. I don't fucking need to sacrifice anything for my dreams. =p

4. If you can have 1 dream come true, what would it be?
The one where there were small fishes around. XD

. Do you believe you can survive without money?
No... I love money. Don't you?

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
My Life? =p Myself, my personality, my memories, my friends, my family, anything in connection to me...XD

7. If you win $ 1 Million, what would you do?
Of course I would invest half of it in something, the other half ill use to screw around la.

8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
.... it doesn't work trust me. =p

9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
PX. blur, loves dogs?, nice to talk to =)

10. What requirement you wish from your other half?
To not annoy me over something small, to not pester me, to understand that i'm a guy and i want my own space! Oo

11. What kind of person you hate the most?
I don't hate nobody. I love everyone. =)

12. If you are given the chance to go back to the past and make a difference, will you?
Yes, I wouldn't have screwed around with my athletics and sports.

13. What is your most embarrasing moment in your entire life?
.., many many

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Emotions. I believe we make decisions on our emotions willingly or not.

17. If there’s ever a war (Or something similar) happening in your place, are you gonna move to a safer place or fight?
Depends. If its for something valuable that I can have or it involves my family or friends than yes. If not, bugger off. It's not worth my time.

16. If you have the chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
My loony side =p

17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
I'm anti social. I have no friends. =p

18. What’s your weakest point?
My personality? I think?

19. What’s the thing that you’re most proud of?
My personality again?

20. What is the one thing you regret most?
Nothing.

I tag Colin Ngeow, Yinyin, Jeremy, Rachel, Rianne, Amir, Natalie, Melanie, Thomas, Eric. Have fun doing this sohai thing fuckers. =D

Exploring Public Relations

"Look in the mirror and ask yourself, What do you want?"

-Anonymous-

Sarang he-yo

SURPRISEEEEEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY ONE YEAR N 3 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY BABY

Baby, its been 1 year n 3 months, Its our first time not celebrating anniversaries together. You're so farrr away from me, I dont feel good at all. You have no idea how much i miss you. How i wish you are here right now to celebrate this day with me ! How i wish you are here right now outside my house . I miss you holding my hands, your hugs and kisses, i miss you driving me around with your baby no2, Suzuki Swift, i miss how you surprised me with all your forever-wont-work-out plans, i miss you bringing me out for suppers, i miss the cinema twin seats, our premier class, our shopping sessions, I miss you calling me baby bii by woi eh fucker bitch and all types of vulgar words, i miss your voice, i miss your face etc. I miss everything about you darling, and i shall stop going into details and others shall be kept private. haha

Il be tough, dont worry about me and i cant wait for you to be back to my arms again. aww..

Its been an awesome 1 year and 3months, im enjoying every single moments of it bii, Thanks for everything! Every single things and sarifices you made.

I love you baby,

Happy 1 year and 3 months,

Come home soon baby,

Muackssssss !

Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there...

Thanks to colin for tagging me? xD Life's a little better here, will update soon with pictures. For now, enjoy the tag. oO

1. Choose a band / artist and answer ONLY in titles of their songs.
Incubus

2. Are you male or female?
A certain shade of green

3. Describe yourself:
Beware! Criminal

4. How do some people feel about you:
Priceless

5. How do you feel about yourself:
The Answer

6. Ex boyfriends/girlfriends:
Love Hurts

7. Current boyfriend/girlfriend/crush:
I miss you

8. Describe where you want to be:
In My Room

9. Describe where you live:
Nebula

10. Describe how you live:
Damnation?

11. What would you ask for if you had just one wish?
I wish you were here

12. Share a few words of Wisdom:
You Will Be a Hot Dancer

13. Any general advice:
Make a Move

14. Share a favorite pickup line:
Are You In

15. And if that one doesn't work:
A Kiss to Send us of

16. What secondary school do/did you attend:
Sick Sad Little World

17. Pepsi or coke:
Priceless

18. Any pets?
Leech

19. Favorite food:
Hilikus

20. Do you drink?
Oil and Water

21. Say goodbye:
When It Comes

Lol... i think mine makes more sense compared to Colin's one? Not much.. but... xD
Anyway... will update soon la...

Missing all of you.. especially you baby.. =)

10% off peak rates!!!

I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were here
I lay my head into the sand
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFO's
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were here
The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are busy in the air

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I'd like to close my eyes and go numb,
But there's a cold wind coming from,
The top of the highest high rise today.
Its not a breeze 'cause it blows hard,
Yes and it wants me to discard,
The humanity I know,
watch the warmth blow away...
So don't let the world bring you down,
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.
Remember why you came and while you're alive,
Experience the warmth before you grow old.
So do you think I should adhere,
To that pressing new frontier,
And leave in my wake, a trail of fear,
Or should I hold my head up high,
And throw a wrench in spokes by,
Leaving the air behind me clear?
So don't let the world bring you down,
Not everyone here is that fucked up and cold.
Remember why you came and while you're alive,
Experience the warmth before you grow old.
Before you grow old...
Where did it go? 

Halleluyah!!!!!

“Home is Where the Heart is”

I always thought that this phrase meant that “home” could be anywhere as long as I take my heart there. Guess I was wrong. I don’t want to lie, as I’m writing this, tears are rolling down my eyes and it’s only my first night here. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my car. I miss foosball. I miss Subang. I miss the food. I miss my Baby. I miss Home.

Guess Ri was right, the ones who talks the most are the ones who hurts the most. I should’ve known better. I’m experiencing it first hand right now. Maybe because it’s the first time I’ve been away, maybe it’s just because of the unfamiliar environments, I don’t know. I just feel like shit right now. The fact that I’ve been awake for the past 2 hours since 3am just makes the icing on the cake so much sweeter.

*Post was written on the first night i was here. (25/2/08)

Slide Away...

I have mixed feelings about leaving.
At one side, i feel sad that I'm leaving, the other is void.
My heart is aching as now i truly understand the saying


"One Must Lose Something to Truly Appreciate it"

It's not that I take everything here for granted, its just that I never knew that leaving was so hard. Kudos to those who did it with no emotions. To leave behind everything at that time when I made up my mind to take the first chance to study abroad was so easy. To actually go through it to me, is hell.

I met up with a very dear friend recently. That really made my day. Friends can change so much in a year, but true friends will always have each other in their hearts. Distance WAS a problem, but it no longer is now. We're fucking special. =)


It has been 1 year, 2 months and 11 days since you were mine, I love you so much... Thank you for everything you've done for me and I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused. Just because i don't say i'm sad because i'm leaving doesnt mean i'm not. I just cant bear to say it to you... My heart is already cracking because im leaving.. to say it out to you will just break it...
Your touch, your smile, your laugh, your voice, your kisses, your hugs, fuck your everything, i'm gonna miss them so much... I'll always be thinking about you baby... don't worry alright... I know your sad, but i'll be back soon. <3


Ouch, my heart hurts.

It's a three-fold, utopian dream

Is it me or there just isn't anymore nice things to shop around for? I've been spending the past few weeks walking in malls with the intention to splash some money and yet I leave the malls empty handed. Hmmm... someone please give me their feedback on this..

Chinese New Year's round the corner, you can always tell when majority of the shops in malls start playing ah beng versions of traditional Chinese New Year songs. Don't you feel disgusted? For crying out loud... who the fuck wants to hear some CNY song which has a heavy bass and a fucking fast rhythm... Imagine the song "Gong Xi Fa Cai" being played at x10 the normal speed and every 2 or 3 seconds a fucking heavy bass goes off... FUCKING CHINESE NEW YEAR LA.... PLAY THE NORMAL 1 LA PLEASE!!! FUCKING LET YOU HEAR A TECHNO VERSION OF NEGARAKU YOU LIKE AH...
*Ps... why must there be only techno version's of Chinese New Year songs? Why isn't there any Hari Raya techno la...? Fair abit please...


Baby's sick right now... Hope she gets better soon.... >.<
I beg everyone who read this post to please pray for her to get well soon. Thank you. =)
Baby.. drink more water k... sleep more get more rest and dun so emo always k... must look after yourself please.... <3

"You do something to me that I can´t explain.
So would I be out of line if i said
I miss you."

Will You Count Me In?

Thanks to some technical difficulties, this post is up a few days late...




Finally a day at home without anyone staying over. Home suddenly feels a little lonelier here without anyone of the same age to hang around with. Don't get me wrong, there's still the family, but well they're family.

Craze for the PS2 is back for some funny reason. Guess its most probably something we haven't really played in awhile. And what is it with the funny stares that people give me when I told them that I stopped playing DOTA because it was boring? Tiu... right hand on mouse, left hand on keyboard. Choose game title in bnet/blueserver/LAN, talk some cock in chat, game starts. Stares cock at loading screen hoping that it will load a little faster and cursing those who have a slightly slower internet speed. Some stupid chicken crows and the games starts. Host types -ap or in some cases -ar or some other extra commands. Player gets hero, if not satisfied will start pestering other players to swap with them. If ignored, player will get pissed and types -repick. Gets some other random hero, if its a hero player does not know how to play, he'll complain "Oh no! This hero I dunno play! But nvm I try, if lose dun blame me ah.." Players will start moving to lanes after receiving heroes. Around 1.35-1.40 min, a horn starts to blow and creeps start walking out. Farming starts...

10 mins later -
Player ah beng : WTF!! y no1 tel me yellow ms he fuckin bs me jst now....
Player Cb: tiu ownself duno c ah...
Player ah beng : nia sing, u know wat is team work
Player Cb : team work ur lanjiao, u noob say la
Player ah beng : fuck u i noob, i fuckin own u la k
Player Cb : bla bla bla (*forgotten the common insults that used to plague DOTA public games)

Argument goes on and on and on til some other player steps in and asks for a truce from both sides. Game continues.

30 mins later - ( please note that after this little time, players have most probably click the left and right buttons on the mouse well over 500 times )

Player ah beng : come, push mid
Player soh7: okok coming.

Push fails

Player soh7:eh fuck la u c push push push now lose d la sohai noob
Player ah beng: wat sohai noob u fucking noob 2 v 1 u run away go back suck ur mothers pussy la
Player soh7 : whatever la... only know how 2 talk so much cock...
Player ah beng : bla bla (* throws insult back)

By this time, the opponent team will have most probably gotten into the base of their enemy.

20 mins later-

Enemy team has broken all barracks. Players says gg to each other. Some will even add comments like noobz.... boring... sienz... more challenge please... go back home and suck cock la.. and etc... Most often the winning team will boast about how much money they have and how easily they got their "GODLIKE" ITEMS. Losing teams tries to defend by saying they gave chance, bored, don't how to play and etc... After watching either the tree of life or the frozen throne explode, players get a review of everything including how many creeps they killed and denied. Players click end game and returns to channel. Players who lost will try to vent out their anger by joining another game and thus repeating the cycle again. Players who won will most probably do the same thing as their ego tells them that now they can win anyone, thus the cycle repeats again.

Please note that I left out the part of how the players kill each other using their heroes. I find it a very stressful thing to write about because I maybe criticized for insulting their lovely heroes. One thing is for certain, be sure to hear a boast about a kill from the opposing team or teammates. A DOTA game can't be called a DOTA game without one.
( They're some instances where I've met players who don't boast, but they're a minority and that was in the past. )

left + right click for more den 700 times in an hour, exchanging insults and getting emotional at a person who you'll never meet in your life and boasting about items and how you killed an opponents hero in a virtual game. Seems quite fun to me... maybe that's why there's still so many people out there devoting their life to this game. I wish them all the best.
Idiots...


And specially for my babi <3
Goodnight everyone... oh ya.. happy new year... =)