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Exam's stress u know...
Somehow after writing this i dun feel much better... xD

Here's a piece that my lecturer asked if I would like to publish. Enjoy =)

Chasing Dreams

The plane touches down. As I stood up from my seat, a tear fell off my cheeks. I was in Australia. The first time I was away from home, the first time I will not be going back home after a long day, the first time I was truly alone. As I lingered around the baggage pick up point, I pondered to myself, “Was it a good idea after all to come all the way here to study?” At that moment when I made my decision, it seemed like a good one, but right now as I am standing here on Australian soil I was beginning to regret it deeply.

Not even a day had passed and I was already homesick. I had left everything behind without a second thought and I was paying for it right then. The pain I felt in my heart when I walked out the airport and into a taxi was so overwhelming I had to constantly remind myself that what I was going through is normal and I’ll feel much better at the end of the day.

It didn’t turn out that way.

I woke up in the middle of the night, half awake and started to think about everyone back home. That was when I felt the world had just come apart. Images of fond memories kept running through my mind like a roll of film on a large screen projector. For every image I saw, I would feel a stab in my heart and there was no way of stopping it. Soon a free flow of tears started running down my face and I cursed myself for being so selfish and impatient.

If only I had waited a few more years before setting out on my own.

Morning arrived. Unknowingly, I had cried myself to sleep.

After a quick shower and breakfast, I made my way to the RMIT building located on La Trobe and Swanston for my late enrolment. While walking, I slowly took in my surroundings and tried to understand the lifestyle here. The weather, the streets, the cars, the people, they’re just so different from what I’m used to. I pondered, and my heart swelled. Again, the thought of home came up. Again, I unwillingly allowed myself to dwell on the past. This time, words of encouragement and advice from loved ones and peers drew my attention. Those words then seem to hold so much meaning. Right now, I see them nothing more than mere words, a melody passing through my ears.

My actions had no life. My speech was robotic. I spoke only when I was spoken to and act if I had to. That was how I signed myself up for the late enrolment. Staff who tried to be friendly with me only served to annoy me. I hated myself for chasing my dream.

Classes started the following week. Everyday it would be the same routine. The alarm rings, I wake up and a cold shower later, I’m off on any tram with a piece of bread in my mouth that’s on its way to Melbourne University getting off on Swanston and La trobe. In class, time seems to be running a little slower. By the end of the day, I felt as if I had lived through a year.

Days soon turned to weeks. I had moved out of the hotel into a friends place on Southbank. I still have yet to find a place for myself. Every application sent in by me for an apartment had been rejected or “misplaced” by the rental agency. I was at a lost. I hated myself even more then for chasing my dream.

My friends here could do little to offer me comfort. The advice they gave are those that I have already heard and yet chose to ignore. At that moment, the problem wasn’t with anything else but me. I had refused to embrace the lifestyle here, refused to acknowledge that I was in a foreign land, and for that I tormented myself.

In the end, my father was the one who brought me back up. While talking to him on the phone, I confided the issues that were bothering me to him and his reply was something I never imagined him to say. (My father is a very quiet person who don’t really show concern for anything)

“That is part of life. You have to learn and adapt. Embracing the things that come your way will only make it easier for you. Instead of rejecting everything why don’t you try accepting them? You have to be strong and carry on doing what you have set your mind on. Giving up will only hurt you further. These are the things that you’ll have to face all your life. Just be strong and patient.”

Those were the exact words he said. Truth be told, it’s something I already am very well aware of, but to hear it from him just gives the words a different meaning altogether. As I look back, it was just as my father said. I had rejected everything and refused to move on. Thinking back, it was because I had not prepared myself mentally for the difficulties ahead. I thought it was a simple thing to go abroad and study. It was my mistake.

By heeding those words, I was able to pull myself together and be who I was before I came to this place. Missing home wasn’t really a matter to me anymore. I came to an understanding where home is not a physical thing; instead it is where your heart wishes it to be. In my case, it’s where I am right now.

It’s a big sacrifice, but one that’s necessary in order to chase our dreams.


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Its a raw piece btw, will edit it if i do decide on my lectures question.

So Ri, happy with my update? xD of courz this was written quite sometime ago.. like the 3rd week i was here? right now things are quite different la...


And By.... good luck with ur exams k =)